Have you ever felt overwhelmed by emotions, reacting instantly in anger without even realizing it? (Where your emotions go from 0 to „I might murder someone with my laser eyes” in 2.5 seconds?) Maybe someone triggered you, and before you knew it, you responded harshly—losing control over your own reactions.
If you grew up experiencing significant emotional trauma, conflicts can feel like emotional landmines. Your nervous system, conditioned by early experiences, can instantly shift into fight, flight, or freeze mode, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exhausted. Some relationships are especially challenging, making conflicts feel unavoidable.
This is why self-care isn’t just about regaining your calm after a conflict, but about maintaining emotional balance even during difficult conversations. When that’s not possible, the key is learning how to restore your inner peace afterwards.
In this post, I want to help you breathe and take care of yourself after you’ve been emotionally knocked down. I’ll share strategies to help you process tough conversations, set boundaries, seek clarity, and find your way back to emotional equilibrium – especially if your childhood taught you that emotional safety was about as predictable as weather in spring.
1. Take a Break: When emotions run high, it’s essential to pause and step away, even briefly. Say, „I need two minutes,” grab a glass of water, step outside for a sec, or go to the bathroom. This small request gives you a moment to regain your calm and ensures the other person respects your needs. This isn’t running away—it’s giving yourself space to reset.
2. Call in Your Support Squad: Ring up that friend who makes everything better. Maybe they’ll whip up a comforting hot chocolate or just listen while you unpack what went down. Sometimes, just knowing someone’s got your back is everything. This small act of care can help you feel nurtured, especially if you’ve felt neglected in the past.
3. Indulge in Some Dark Chocolate: Treat yourself to some dark chocolate – but only if it feels good to you. If you’ve had a complicated relationship with food in the past, or emotional eating is a trigger, choose a different comfort strategy. However, if you can enjoy chocolate mindfully, high-quality dark chocolate with 80-90% cocoa content can be an excellent mood-booster. The key is listening to your body and choosing what truly nurtures you in this moment.
4. Comfort Mode: Activated: Slip into your favorite sweater – you know, the one that feels like a warm hug and instantly makes you feel at home. This isn’t just about physical comfort; it’s about creating a safe emotional space. Choose the piece of clothing that makes you feel protected, grounded, and reminds you that you’re okay. If your favorite sweater carries memories of comfort or safety, it can be incredibly soothing during an emotional storm. I highly recommend trying this if you haven’t already. If you don’t have a go-to comfort sweater yet, I strongly suggest finding one that also provides emotional warmth!
5. Shake It Off: Trembling is a natural response, especially if the conversation triggered a previous traumatic experience. It might even be a sign that an unprocessed memory has surfaced. Don’t suppress this physical sensation – the best approach is to listen to your body and move.
When you’re feeling shaky, try:
- Gentle stretching
- Taking a walk outside
- Doing light physical movements
- Shaking out your limbs to release tension
It’s a way of telling your body, „I hear you, and it’s okay to let go of this tension.”
6. Avoid Impulsive Reactions: You might feel an urge to run or engage in intense activity, (you might want to do something dramatic—like suddenly decide to run a marathon at 10 PM or dash to the 24-hour store for a sugary drink) but pause. Those are classic fight-or-flight reactions. Instead, ground yourself. Write a voice message, hug someone, or just sit with your feelings. Your body’s trying to process something intense, and racing around won’t help. Light, gentle movement can help, but avoid extremes – especially if you don’t typically run marathons and this urge is just a product of your current emotional state. And as always, listen to your body.
